Learning about Grief

Photo taken June 1st - just 4 short days before Todd went to heaven.

I am learning about grief counseling (from the internet):

Each person looks at the world through a different set of lenses, and as a result, one's ‘dances', ‘steps', upbringing, hopes, dreams, and healing are dependent on many factors. Grief counseling and therapy are about sharing a person's journey before or after a death. The focus is on companioning them during difficult times and not rescuing or fixing them, and about listening to their stories and thoughts with an open mind and open heart. (My family and friends have played an important role in my own personal grief 'counseling'.)

Because grief is a process and not an event, what takes place along the grief journey may alter how one continues to cope and adapt to loss.

It is the assumption that if one knows a person is going to die then the grief after the death is not as intense as if the death were a surprise. However, is this really true?
According to clinician, researcher and writer Therese Rando,

Anticipatory grief is the phenomenon encompassing the process of mourning, coping, interaction, planning, and psychosocial reorganization that are stimulated and begun in part in response to the awareness of the impending loss of a loved one and the recognition of associated losses in the past, present, and future. It is seldom explicitly recognized, but the truly therapeutic experience of anticipatory grief mandates a delicate balance among the mutually conflicting demands of simultaneously holding onto, letting go of, and drawing closer to the dying patient.

Todd,
I am still taking one step at a time. It is hard but you 'counseled' me starting last summer, letting me know you wanted me to go on and be happy and keep living. I am getting a 'handle' on this widow thing. The boys are awesome, just like you hoped they would be!! Will and Cody are loving their mom! Your memories are helping us all get through this process of grieving.
We love you, my friend!!
Jelly Bean